As mentioned on a previous post and on my bio, my beginnings into a career in software weren’t linear. Maybe because of that, or because I never had a mentor to give me software engineering career advice, there are some lessons which I had to learn the hard way.
Today, I’m sharing three lessons that would have saved me many headaches if only I had known them over a decade ago.
1. Work isn’t feudalism
I grew up thinking of a boss as an ogre I’d always have to say yes to.
In reality, a job is a two-way street; a collaboration between adults with shared goals.
You’re not there just to be grateful for a job; you’re providing value in exchange for that seat.
The Employment Contract (Adult-to-Adult)
- Employer provides: Context, resources, and compensation.
- Engineer provides: Problem-solving, expertise, and time.
2. Your “seniors” are just people
Whether it’s your manager, the CEO, or the owner… they’re human.
Don’t be afraid to ask about their weekend or their vision for the company (I’m still working on this one).
Clear communication beats silent stress every time.
Communication Hierarchy
- Junior mindset: “I hope they don’t notice I’m stuck.”
- Engineering mindset: “I’ll ask for 10 minutes of their time to unblock 4 hours of my work.”
3. Learning is literally the job
You don’t need to know everything in the first few weeks.
Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of efficiency.
The Career Runtime (The Infinite Loop)
- Junior mindset: “I need to learn before I can do the work.”
- Engineering mindset: “Learning is the work; every project is a research opportunity with a code output.”
These realisations changed how I approach engineering.
It stopped being about pleasing the boss and started being about solving the problem.
Summary
The “feudal” mindset
- Boss = Ogre/Master
- Goal = Pleasing the hierarchy
- Communication = Silent stress
The “engineering” mindset
- Boss = Partner/Stakeholder
- Goal = Solving the problem
- Communication = Adult collaboration
Note
This reflection was originally posted on LinkedIn.


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